The Grinder
The psychology of breaking away and developing capital
‘If you want money, build up; but if you want power, build out.’ It’s a concept I’ve used to fashion much of my decision making over the years, for better or worse. I frame it as such because, despite all of my efforts, I often feel that I’m not actually where I want to be with my business. I feel behind, like I’ve made too many sacrifices withthout cashing in on enough of them to make their efforts worthwhile. Was it this mantra that I had developed? Have I simply been wrong all of these years and afraid to admit it? I don’t think so, but there’s definitely more to it. I wanted to talk about this ‘more’, to help people through the quagmire, and learn to create the lives they set out to build for themselves in the first place. What you’re doing is hard, and you are not alone. You should know that.
Solopreneurship is challenging, and replete with a fascinating set of psychological paradigms, many of which really do threaten your overall success, unless you learn to master them. This is easier said than done however, and I know from my own journey that I was wrong on many occasions, and that being wrong has cost me dearly over the years. But admitting it and moving on is the nature of what a solopreneur does, hard as it may be. To date, I’ve held the helm of three businesses. I lost the first one to an inner squabble that became serious, and I lost the second one to my attic; as the market isn’t there yet, and I did not want to go through the process of breaking that ground. Not at this point. In the first, I hired poorly, and I ate the ultimate consequence to an owner for doing so. In the second, I jumped the gun on the product I was delivering, and I didn’t adequately research the market, which turned out not to be as interested in the product I wanted to deliver as I had hoped.
Now I sit on my third business, first contract in hand and likely coming to a beneficial close within the next few weeks. I did well, and the client will be happy. I’m proud of myself. Even though it was a small contract, it was a challenging one, and I learned from it. I think what strikes me the most about this first contract is that, while it went well, it didn’t go perfectly, and I’m learning to be okay with that. Freelance web development is a very challenging gig, with lots of powerful players, and an ocean of tools and resources. I held my own very well, and I delivered a good product. I want you to extrapolate that into what you’re doing, and maybe let me frame a few more things to help you realize what I’m getting at. I’ve been at this gig, unpaid, with all of my spare time going into research and development for the last five years. I’ve done all of this while writing a Master’s degree, learning software programming, and holding a full-time job until 10 months into the pandemic. Furthermore, at least one of the businesses I developed during this time period disrupted what I actually went to school for enough that pursuing that vocation became rockier than starting the business itself. Yup, you can read that last one again. At least one project I worked on disrupted the ecosystem I went to school to pursue enough that I was being silenced, and that it became more advantageous for me to leave that ecosystem altogether, and pursue my vision through entrepreneurship, rather than through the institution itself. Sound familiar?
Entrepreneurship is a chaotic, savage, and in some cases, a potentially dangerous career decision. But it is extremely important, too, because it is entrepreneurs who bring a country’s economy to life. We provide the aggregates that help local families pick and choose their flavours in life. We develop the conduits that become strong and reliable supply chains and information networks. We do the research that enables the birth of a product, even before other entities do their research to determine if it’s useful for public consumption or not. To suggest that we are ‘out there’ is a remarkable understatement that does very little to serve the nation as a whole. Entrepreneurs are the gas in the cylinder, waiting for the spark to ignite and fire the piston. It is a rich and rewarding life, but it is also fantastic in a very literal sense, as much of it deals with the purely unknown, and making that which was invisible, visible, and in a pleasantly consumable manner. That’s why I’m writing this. Entrepreneurship is a path to power because it deals with the development of capital within a chaotic environment. We live in a chaotic environment, one filled with illusion and deceit, and you should want to learn more about how to thrive in a world that really is out to get you, at least, in a manner of speaking.
What’s Real and What’s for Sale?
I think that one of the most important things to learn as you take the helm of your new business, and become the solopreneur that you envisioned, is that everybody uses everyone all the time, and there’s simply no getting away from this. No matter what, there’s always a hook, a frame, a catch, and a point of sale, and a lot of it really is designed to trick the senses, engage with you, and learn where and how to extract the most out of you. Moreover, you will need to learn to do something similar with those around you, if you want to thrive. This is the crux of getting into business, but it is fundamentally how a market works. Dog eat dog is a real thing, and the players on the other side of the market are generally better than you at first, in addition to already knowing how to get what they want out of you, too. You need to know that you’re not inferior, they just don’t teach this stuff, so getting up to speed is a lesson one generally has to learn on their own, fast. In the first few years of a venture, you will likely find yourself extremely vulnerable, with expectations that don’t often align with reality, and a constant sense of chaos. And that’s if the idea worked. If it didn’t, it’s a new range of psychological complexities, ranging from guilt and jealousy, right through to inferiority and hopelessness. Despair can be a uniquely terrifying prospect when it has to do with an object that you gave birth to. But that’s extreme. Mostly, it’s a volatile environment filled with talented players, and one can never be too sure what’ll come down the pipe next. I remember in one of my business ventures, for example, my very first customer ended up defrauding me on the contract, and I actually lost money. Kind of rough, but that’s the way it goes. Cheque fraud. I caught it quickly enough, and took the appropriate action of filing a police report, but the damage was already done. Here I am, a tech specialist and programmer extraordinaire, ready to teach your entire family, and I get hit with cheque fraud, right out of the gate. What’re you going to do?
Early on, as you venture forth as an entrepreneur, you’ll often find yourself on the defensive, particularly if this is your first time entering a competitive market. To survive, you’ll need to play your hand fairly conservatively, and learn to trade into things and situations that are advantageous to your cause, but without expending too much capital. You should be aware that most people are risk averse, for example, and will not openly expend their own capital unless it directly improves their current position, or has noticeable, tracked long term benefits. In essence, most people prefer to gamble in a casino than on your business. Remember that, but do not lament it. You’re learning a new way of thinking, and of perceiving interpersonal relationships. This is where the real learning starts, because it’s how you begin to learn that value trumps virtually every other aspect of conducting business. No matter how well you can develop a pitch, or how much research you’ve put into a product, or how much you think it might benefit someone, the simple truth to all market based interactions is that trade either benefits everyone involved, or most people will simply refuse and move on. The earlier you learn this, the better off you’ll be, because it prevents you from going down bad rabbit holes that you should know better not too. Remember, there’s a big difference between what’s real and what’s for sale. On the open market, everything’s for sale, but not everything is real. You want to position yourself to always be dealing in tangible products that provide real value to clients. Otherwise, you’re going to end up moving in the wrong direction and either burning yourself out, as you take on too much and deliver on too little; or else burning your clients. Or both.
Playing for Keeps
Capital is all that matters at the end of the day, and nothing is ever worth anything more than what you can actually sell it for. These are the basic premises on which the real world is actually built. ‘Capital’ can refer to any number of objects or circumstances, ranging from ‘political’ or ‘intellectual’, to an actual property belonging to something, but the point is that it’s always an asset or an establishment that provides a resource to the owner capable of extraction, or else some form of production or replication. The extraction usually refers to extracting more or different forms of capital out of another object or asset, but it’s a fairly broad concept overall. The point is, if you’re in business for yourself, you need to develop this. Capital is the means by which more capital is made or produced, and if you’re not actively working on developing your own capital, then you’re probably developing someone else’s. Which is fine too, you just need to mind your end of the bargain and be aware of how you’re deploying your own resources, too.
Labour is your most important resource. I think distortions happen, and happen often, but I have labour being more valuable than money in a broad sense and scope. There are certainly many situations where a person has enough monetary capital that they’re able to leverage it against someone else’s labour much better than against their own. I think this is generally the point of the tutoring industry, for example. But overall, where and how you distribute your time is a more important consideration than where and how you distribute your money, at least at the level of nuance that an entrepreneur or a solopreneur needs to consider. I frame it as such to ignore big picture aggregates, such as public education and other institutions, more so than as a hard rule. Overall, innovation is far more common than invention, and I think the difference has to do with threshold concepts and the ‘zone of proximal development’ more than anything else. Remember, learning anything takes time. Learning that thing to a capacity where one can refer to it as a capital asset, otherwise known as a skilled trade, takes an exorbitant amount of time. Add that to the idea that most people are generally risk averse, at least to a point, and it’s suddenly not that hard to see why it’s generally far easier to expand on an already thriving concept than to truly take the plunge into something new. Not that it doesn’t happen, just that it’s a rarer outcome. But in terms of how entrepreneurship both fits into and helps the broader economy, it’s not just the idea that lightning can be caught in a bottle, but rather, how consistently can it be done? And then, if you’re lucky, what can you do with it?
This is why I prefer to cultivate a growth mindset, and to just focus on the grind and what it’s actually teaching me. It’s that old expression that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, but mixed with the concept that breakaways are almost universally better than shots from the blue line. If you get into what you’re doing, and you keep to a few core values that align your focus with the development of personal capital, it’s very hard not to come away with a few great opportunities in the long run. The truth is that none of my businesses, regardless of success or failure, actually ended up where I thought they would when I started them. It was only by going through the processes, and learning from my mistakes, that I was able to find the fruit of each business and try to make it blossom. There are a myriad of reasons to enjoy the grind, many of which are neither openly taught, nor immediately apparent. In order to be successful as an entrepreneur, you need to find ways of engaging with your community, but doing so in a manner that doesn’t actually hurt your capital, nor impairs your ability to produce more capital. This will make you tough yet compassionate, and beneficial to those around you in a number of ways. Be prepared, but you should want this life.
Whistle While you Work
The idea of whistling while you work is more of a metaphor than a suggestion, but it certainly can be taken quite literally. It refers to the idea of getting comfortable with what you do, and of settling in for the long haul. Competition is a grindy affair, but it is quite necessary as well, as it hones your craft, and forces you to deliver a sound product at a fair price. At the same time however, if you’re not having fun with this level of competition, and with actively engaging with the other professionals in your field, then whatever you’re doing isn’t the right fit for you. I don’t mean entrepreneurship altogether, certainly not, but just that, if you’re not hitting your mark the way you ought to be, that this is noticeable, and that it will have an effect on your productivity in the long run. A static test that I use for gauging how well my line of work fits into my life, as well as supports the work//life balance that I want to pursue, is what I’ve termed the ‘radio test’. The idea is simple. I suffer from an attention deficit disorder which has proven to be overbearing at numerous points in my life. It is very challenging for me to listen to songs with words in them while I work, for example, because even song lyrics are enough to break my flow and cause a distraction. Because of this, I prefer to listen to frequencies over songs, to help produce a more stable and relaxed environment for my creativity to flourish. So here’s the test: If I can sit and write JavaScript programs while listening to the radio, without having one activity distract the other, then I’ve hit my mark. To me, this is the crux of flow, and it’s what you want to strive for in your quest as an entrepreneur.
As you pursue this line of work, you will discover a good deal of temptation to shift your focus or your priorities. I encourage you not to. As I mentioned in an earlier section, there is a big difference between what’s real and what’s for sale, and as your character and discipline as an entrepreneur begin to develop, other agents will seek to take advantage of this. And why shouldn’t they? You’re maturing into a sharp and rational individual. These traits are not always easy to come by. In my opinion, while you’ll need enough capital to cover your living expenses, you should avoid the allure of money through means that pull you too far off track. Labour cannot be undone, so drifting too far into areas that you don’t ultimately end up pursuing effectively costs double because you’ve not only spent the capital to pursue the objective, but you cannot subsequently undo its pursuit. I prefer to look for work in the field I’m pursuing, regardless of early profitability, because knowledge is its own form of capital. That’s one strategy. Another is to adapt your personal pursuit to your professional pursuit so that one can feed the other. You’ll want to avoid issues of conflict of interest, for sure, but on the open market? What would stop you from simply owning complementary sources of capital? Not much, until you actually start developing a monopoly.
Other labour considerations abound, too. Beware of people and greed, for example. This should sound obvious, but this issue will rear its head in some ugly and unpredictable ways. Contracts are great, and I will never find myself in another partnership, for example. Regarding contracts, I think that people view them quite negatively where, in my experience, they help to lay out a very concrete foundation for expectations between employers, workers, and clients. All parties should feel safer under a contract, for the most part, making them a win-win. Failure to sign the correct contract is not the contract’s fault, keep in mind. This can be a tough lesson, but one you should only need to learn once. Regarding partnerships, they are effectively business plans of an indefinite length, but with very loosely ascribed earnings potentials, usually listed as a percent, set in stone, and with no actual stipulations or guarantees of how that percent is to be achieved. In my experience, with my first business, a family business, it was the partnership itself which caused the erosion of trust, that led to the bad thoughts, which is generally a pretty clear indication that it’s time for someone to go. In this case, it was me. Be wary of ever signing over a potentially controlling share of an asset that you’ve developed. Solopreneurship takes twice as long, but it is vastly more stable, provided you can float the capital. Partnerships might seem like a good idea, but in my experience, it really wasn’t.
Which is why you whistle. Because entrepreneurship is hard and it’s weird, and the hits come from all over; and sometimes, to me, you just need to immerse yourself in your own brand and move forward with it. Have pride! Like I’ve said before, nothing in this line of work ever actually goes according to plan. Nothing. You won’t start when you expect to, you never finish where you intend to, you’re not actually going to beat the competition at their own game, which is what you set out to do. In short, the best you can do most days is to make yourself happy, and you do this most effectively by providing value to your clients, and to the community you serve, however large or small it may be. This community continues to see you for who you really are, and as long as you support them fairly, they will continue to support you fairly as well. In principle. And that’s how you enter the market. Not with fanfare and big ideas that don’t always work, but with consistent, undeniable value to the people you serve, and a willingness to listen, to hear, and to advise. This is you as 'The Grinder'. You’re there to clean up, and to leave a nice polish when you leave. Be mean only when you have to, and always leave a workplace nicer than when you started. Cheers!
